Joy of being - a Lenten resolve.

Lent is fast approaching!  Yesterday in CCD class, I instructed my 8th grade students to review the virtues which we have been studying the past few weeks, and choose one to especially reflect upon and practice throughout Lent. Of course, a good teacher should exemplify the truths that she teaches, most particularly in religion, right? ;) As I have mentioned a time or two before, joy is a virtue that I often reflect upon, am working towards, and pray for the grace to make it more of an immediate habit. My intense focus and fast-moving mind (and probably lack of enough sleep due to a nursing baby) often causes me to react to situations and interactions with far less cheerfulness, positivism, and grace than I should. My husband gently reminded me of this recently, and as I have been pondering what things to focus on improving during Lent, his suggestions feel opportune. I desire true joy of being so that I may radiate more of our Lord's joy to those I encounter, so they may know the depth of His eternal mercy and love. This, I strongly feel, is our special business as women; to impart joy, beauty, and love to our fellow man and the world around us. We were created with a soul and body that desires to love, a spirit that seeks to create and beautify, and a mind that quickly perceives what is needed to achieve balance and harmony. Now, to daily impart all this with a calm and collected demeanor, and a smile? As an authentic joy must go hand in hand with peace of spirit, we must trust our Lord to help us balance the complexity of our days and attend to each matter yes, diligently, but also with peaceful acceptance and sincere joy. One of my favorite saints, St. Gianna Berreta Molla, was a true model of the joyful, peaceful, wife, mother, and Christian woman who balanced perfectly the spiritual with the trials of the physical life, and I often return to her story and words. Here are St. Gianna's thoughts on the reasons to smile...

Hymn to the Smile

To smile at God, from who all gifts come to us.

To smile to God, the Father, with ever more perfect prayers to the Holy Spirit.

To smile at Jesus, drawing near him in Holy Mass, in Communion, in visits to the Blessed Sacrament.

To smile at him who personifies Christ, the Pope; at him who personifies God, our confessor, even when he calls us to mortification.

To smile at the Holy Virgin, model upon which we must pattern our lives, so that whoever looks at us may be led to good thoughts.

To smile at the guardian angel because he was given us by God to guide us to paradise.

To smile at parents, brothers, and sisters, because we ought to be torches of joy, even when they impose duties on us that go against our pride.

To smile always, pardoning offenses.

To smile in the Association, banishing any criticism and murmuring.

To smile at those whom the Lord sends us during the day.

The world seeks joy but does not find it because it is far from God.

We, full of the joy that comes from Jesus, carry joy in our hearts with Jesus. He will be the strength that helps us.

Since we know that we find our joy in the Lord, what better place to start our day than in front of the tabernacle, where He resides, waiting and yearning to relieve our burdens and fill our souls with His joy and love? I have been able to go to morning Mass now and again, but feel that in order to gain a deeper joy and peace, I must make an effort to increase my attendance. St. Gianna again confirmed this for me:

"To be an apostle...the soul ought always to be in grace, that is, ought to be the temple, the living tabernacle; I ought to have the divine life in me to be able to communicate it to the souls that surround me. Let us often think that with grace, with Jesus in our hearts, we are "Alter Christus". We will certainly not only keep from committing sin, but we will bring joy everywhere, the fragrance of Christ."

Love that phrase - the fragrance of Christ! What woman does not want to have a lovely scent? What better place to acquire the perfect aromatic combination of love, joy and peaceful fulfillment than from His dear presence? St. Bonaventure refers to the Lord as being the complete and eternal source of these things at the end of his 'Prayer after Communion'..."May Thou alone be ever my hope, my entire assurance, my riches, my delight, my pleasure, my joy, my rest and tranquility, my peace, my sweetness, my fragrance, my sweet savor, my food, my refreshment, my refuge, my help, my wisdom, my portion, my possession and my treasure  in Whom may my mind and my heart be fixed and firmly rooted immovably henceforth and for ever. Amen." If we ask for this sweet fragrance humbly with the fervent desire to share it with others, how can He refuse? Ladies, join me this Lent in more frequent Mass attendance and ask of Him the privilege to become fragrant flowers of His love, so that we may bring His warmth, beauty, and peace to the world through our joyful countenances.

Dear St. Gianna, pray for us!

Finding identity in the domestic life.

As I have been significantly housebound the last 2 weeks (with Michael sick the first and myself, the second) and feeling out of touch with people, I have been mostly struggling to identify with my current status here at home. I have been reflecting on this topic for a few days. My dear sister-in-law aptly posed it in a conversation recently - "Who are we anymore?" We used to be working women making our own sort of difference in the world. In my case, this was interacting with students and parishioners, helping them make beautiful music and providing them with music, respectively; beautifying the liturgy by uplifting hearts to the sacred through music. A worthy job in its self. I was thanked for it, complimented on it, trusted with it; comforted by the appreciation of people who saw me once or twice a week. I admit, I judged my work and worth too often by their standards. Fast forward a year later, and my job title is a stay-at-home mama and wife. Two small 4-letter words. If not careful, we can reduce ourselves to just that - words and lists and chores. We cook. We clean. We bathe. We wait on (and for) nap times. We pay bills and budget. All the necessary things of life. I do take comfort in that word - necessary. We wives and mamas do very necessary menial and physical work, vital really.

"Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railway, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes?...The homemaker's job is one for which all others exist." ~ C.S. Lewis

So then I am a domestic queen?! My rule reigns and my position is essential; I am the lifeblood of my family and oil to a smooth-running society. Not so fast; again, this will be another detrimental view of the place and character of our stay-at-home vocations, and again, one that seeks to feed pride. Yes, a wife and mother is (or should be) queen of her husband's and children's hearts. But what (hopefully) compels them to feel thus? Certainly not the days of unkempt hair, yoga pants, tired eyes, and not-so-patient replies. It is the love with which she accepts and acts upon the will of God for her, and by so doing, sustains those entrusted to her care. Necessary tasks aside, it struck me how much more "important" I should feel my work is now, this quiet, unseen duty within the home - our Lord has trusted me intimately with the care of souls!  That of my husband - to keep in prayer, support, lead to heaven...and that of Michael - to teach, form in love, and also lead to heaven. No insignificant task at all! Interesting how our Lord has allowed such a significant and important work to be one of the most hidden and unknown to the world, eh? It will be judged partially by its fruit yes, but even more so by the spirit and manner in which the work is performed...these things only He will know.

I have been reading a bit of St. Edith Stein lately (otherwise known as Sr. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, convert from Judaism who became a nun and later died in a Nazi concentration camp, marvelous philosopher and writer) and am finding her writings  inspiring. She truly grasps the essence of woman and outlines her vocational role within the spiritual and earthly realities with great wisdom. I have much I want to share from her, but pertaining to the subject of this post, Edith's descriptions of the Blessed Mother's hidden life resonated with me:

"The image of the Mother of God demonstrates the basic spiritual attitude which corresponds to woman's natural vocation: her relation to her husband is one of obedience, trust, and participation in his life as she furthers his objective tasks and personality development; to the child she gives true care, encouragement and formation of his God-given talents; she offers both selfless surrender and a quiet withdrawal when unneeded.  All this is based on the concept of marriage and motherhood as vocation from God; it is carried out for God's sake and under His guidance...But not as her action does she do all this: she is the handmaid of the lord; she fulfills that to which God has called her." 

The Blessed Mother rightly could have taken the cake for bragging rights - she was mothering the Savior Himself! But on the contrary, she remained silent and hidden, humble to act behind the scenes in the Lord's great plan. She knows that her actions are nothing of her doing, but the prompting of Him and His grace,  to which she was fully submitted, trusting Him to see all and bring to fruition her works and offerings. Such humility and denial of self. Mary sought not to fulfill her self-worth, but only His will. That is what we must be - handmaids of His will, seeking our worth in His approval, not in our own poor measure of self-worth. We must desire to identify with who He wants us to be in the domestic life; indeed, we shouldn't even truly care to know who we are, but understand that we are what He makes of us. Isn't there freedom in that? If we are totally surrendered to His grace and will, He will shine through us to our family and work through our actions. It will be His love that we give, His care that we provide, His gentle formation that we impart. If we can remember this at all times, we are sure to be working for, in, and through His love, and those souls we encounter every day and night will be touched by our Lord. What better worth is there than that? We can always reach God by way of the Blessed Mother, especially by imitating her example. If we must know our identity, may we shape it like hers, and therefore, humbly find it in doing God's will out of complete love of Him.

A quote from my favorite Catherine Doherty: "Let us ask the Lord to show women today the fullness of the life of Nazareth. Pray that he might life the veil of years and sentimental piety, and present his own mother as she really was - a housewife, a mother, a spouse, a woman busy at the sublime creative work of the 'kingdom,' which was his home on earth...Do we understand the sublimity of service - humbly, daily, constantly repeated?...Let us ask Mary to help us restore our work in the home to Christ, and to restore all the work of our hands, all our labors, to Christ."