"I create for My Kingdom"

"You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity. – Mother M. Angelica

 <3 Little Hope <3

Remembering...

My body apparently still surges with emotions this time of the month...it's hard, but amazing to see how my body still remembers, even when I attempt to stay pre-occupied. Mama loves and misses you unbelievably, little one, and Daddy too.



Remembering the first and last glimpse of you...
which is forever imprinted on my mind and heart.


Laura recently told me about a friend's friend, who had a still-born birth after 9 months. I cannot imagine...it would be wonderful to see your child's face, but then have to say goodbye? My case does not touch this pain, and I am thankful. Then too, I dwell on the image of the sorrowful Mother witnessing her adult Son's death: "Come, all you who pass by the way, look and see whether there is any suffering like my suffering, which has been dealt me." (Lamentations 1:12) I have not suffered to the extent she has. She obediently accepted the Father's will for her, as must I. How sweet the resurrection must have been for her, and how good of God to give us that to anticipate. And, not everyone is fortunate to have a personal prayer warrior in heaven. :)

Heartbreak and Trust

Last Wednesday evening, November 25, 2009, our little one went to Jesus. It has been extremely hard to undergo and accept, but we embrace this sorrow with open arms as God's will and in His perfect plan for us. Occurring on the day before Thanksgiving, it was hard to thank God for this suffering, but if we are suffering here that our baby can be pain-free for eternity, we thank Him. If we are suffering now that other children may be born in health, we thank Him. We thank Him for giving us the joy of loving our baby here on earth for 6.5 weeks and for the comfort of knowing he/she is with Him. I thank Him for giving me the incredible experience of carrying a life inside me, and for the hope that I can be pregnant again.

We named our little one Francis/es Raphael - names meaning: Free, and God heals. We are so thankful for wonderful family and friends who have consoled, prayed, encouraged, and loved us during this time; we truly have much for which to be thankful - thank you all.

Francis/es Raphael, Mama and Daddy love you SO VERY much and will see you again someday.