As I have been significantly housebound the last 2 weeks (with Michael sick the first and myself, the second) and feeling out of touch with people, I have been mostly struggling to identify with my current status here at home. I have been reflecting on this topic for a few days. My dear sister-in-law aptly posed it in a conversation recently - "Who are we anymore?" We used to be working women making our own sort of difference in the world. In my case, this was interacting with students and parishioners, helping them make beautiful music and providing them with music, respectively; beautifying the liturgy by uplifting hearts to the sacred through music. A worthy job in its self. I was thanked for it, complimented on it, trusted with it; comforted by the appreciation of people who saw me once or twice a week. I admit, I judged my work and worth too often by their standards. Fast forward a year later, and my job title is a stay-at-home mama and wife. Two small 4-letter words. If not careful, we can reduce ourselves to just that - words and lists and chores. We cook. We clean. We bathe. We wait on (and for) nap times. We pay bills and budget. All the necessary things of life. I do take comfort in that word - necessary. We wives and mamas do very necessary menial and physical work, vital really.
"Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railway, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes?...The homemaker's job is one for which all others exist." ~ C.S. Lewis
So then I am a domestic queen?! My rule reigns and my position is essential; I am the lifeblood of my family and oil to a smooth-running society. Not so fast; again, this will be another detrimental view of the place and character of our stay-at-home vocations, and again, one that seeks to feed pride. Yes, a wife and mother is (or should be) queen of her husband's and children's hearts. But what (hopefully) compels them to feel thus? Certainly not the days of unkempt hair, yoga pants, tired eyes, and not-so-patient replies. It is the love with which she accepts and acts upon the will of God for her, and by so doing, sustains those entrusted to her care. Necessary tasks aside, it struck me how much more "important" I should feel my work is now, this quiet, unseen duty within the home - our Lord has trusted me intimately with the care of souls! That of my husband - to keep in prayer, support, lead to heaven...and that of Michael - to teach, form in love, and also lead to heaven. No insignificant task at all! Interesting how our Lord has allowed such a significant and important work to be one of the most hidden and unknown to the world, eh? It will be judged partially by its fruit yes, but even more so by the spirit and manner in which the work is performed...these things only He will know.
I have been reading a bit of St. Edith Stein lately (otherwise known as Sr. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, convert from Judaism who became a nun and later died in a Nazi concentration camp, marvelous philosopher and writer) and am finding her writings inspiring. She truly grasps the essence of woman and outlines her vocational role within the spiritual and earthly realities with great wisdom. I have much I want to share from her, but pertaining to the subject of this post, Edith's descriptions of the Blessed Mother's hidden life resonated with me:
"The image of the Mother of God demonstrates the basic spiritual attitude which corresponds to woman's natural vocation: her relation to her husband is one of obedience, trust, and participation in his life as she furthers his objective tasks and personality development; to the child she gives true care, encouragement and formation of his God-given talents; she offers both selfless surrender and a quiet withdrawal when unneeded. All this is based on the concept of marriage and motherhood as vocation from God; it is carried out for God's sake and under His guidance...But not as her action does she do all this: she is the handmaid of the lord; she fulfills that to which God has called her."
The Blessed Mother rightly could have taken the cake for bragging rights - she was mothering the Savior Himself! But on the contrary, she remained silent and hidden, humble to act behind the scenes in the Lord's great plan. She knows that her actions are nothing of her doing, but the prompting of Him and His grace, to which she was fully submitted, trusting Him to see all and bring to fruition her works and offerings. Such humility and denial of self. Mary sought not to fulfill her self-worth, but only His will. That is what we must be - handmaids of His will, seeking our worth in His approval, not in our own poor measure of self-worth. We must desire to identify with who He wants us to be in the domestic life; indeed, we shouldn't even truly care to know who we are, but understand that we are what He makes of us. Isn't there freedom in that? If we are totally surrendered to His grace and will, He will shine through us to our family and work through our actions. It will be His love that we give, His care that we provide, His gentle formation that we impart. If we can remember this at all times, we are sure to be working for, in, and through His love, and those souls we encounter every day and night will be touched by our Lord. What better worth is there than that? We can always reach God by way of the Blessed Mother, especially by imitating her example. If we must know our identity, may we shape it like hers, and therefore, humbly find it in doing God's will out of complete love of Him.
A quote from my favorite Catherine Doherty: "Let us ask the Lord to show women today the fullness of the life of Nazareth. Pray that he might life the veil of years and sentimental piety, and present his own mother as she really was - a housewife, a mother, a spouse, a woman busy at the sublime creative work of the 'kingdom,' which was his home on earth...Do we understand the sublimity of service - humbly, daily, constantly repeated?...Let us ask Mary to help us restore our work in the home to Christ, and to restore all the work of our hands, all our labors, to Christ."
"Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railway, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes?...The homemaker's job is one for which all others exist." ~ C.S. Lewis
So then I am a domestic queen?! My rule reigns and my position is essential; I am the lifeblood of my family and oil to a smooth-running society. Not so fast; again, this will be another detrimental view of the place and character of our stay-at-home vocations, and again, one that seeks to feed pride. Yes, a wife and mother is (or should be) queen of her husband's and children's hearts. But what (hopefully) compels them to feel thus? Certainly not the days of unkempt hair, yoga pants, tired eyes, and not-so-patient replies. It is the love with which she accepts and acts upon the will of God for her, and by so doing, sustains those entrusted to her care. Necessary tasks aside, it struck me how much more "important" I should feel my work is now, this quiet, unseen duty within the home - our Lord has trusted me intimately with the care of souls! That of my husband - to keep in prayer, support, lead to heaven...and that of Michael - to teach, form in love, and also lead to heaven. No insignificant task at all! Interesting how our Lord has allowed such a significant and important work to be one of the most hidden and unknown to the world, eh? It will be judged partially by its fruit yes, but even more so by the spirit and manner in which the work is performed...these things only He will know.
I have been reading a bit of St. Edith Stein lately (otherwise known as Sr. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, convert from Judaism who became a nun and later died in a Nazi concentration camp, marvelous philosopher and writer) and am finding her writings inspiring. She truly grasps the essence of woman and outlines her vocational role within the spiritual and earthly realities with great wisdom. I have much I want to share from her, but pertaining to the subject of this post, Edith's descriptions of the Blessed Mother's hidden life resonated with me:
"The image of the Mother of God demonstrates the basic spiritual attitude which corresponds to woman's natural vocation: her relation to her husband is one of obedience, trust, and participation in his life as she furthers his objective tasks and personality development; to the child she gives true care, encouragement and formation of his God-given talents; she offers both selfless surrender and a quiet withdrawal when unneeded. All this is based on the concept of marriage and motherhood as vocation from God; it is carried out for God's sake and under His guidance...But not as her action does she do all this: she is the handmaid of the lord; she fulfills that to which God has called her."
The Blessed Mother rightly could have taken the cake for bragging rights - she was mothering the Savior Himself! But on the contrary, she remained silent and hidden, humble to act behind the scenes in the Lord's great plan. She knows that her actions are nothing of her doing, but the prompting of Him and His grace, to which she was fully submitted, trusting Him to see all and bring to fruition her works and offerings. Such humility and denial of self. Mary sought not to fulfill her self-worth, but only His will. That is what we must be - handmaids of His will, seeking our worth in His approval, not in our own poor measure of self-worth. We must desire to identify with who He wants us to be in the domestic life; indeed, we shouldn't even truly care to know who we are, but understand that we are what He makes of us. Isn't there freedom in that? If we are totally surrendered to His grace and will, He will shine through us to our family and work through our actions. It will be His love that we give, His care that we provide, His gentle formation that we impart. If we can remember this at all times, we are sure to be working for, in, and through His love, and those souls we encounter every day and night will be touched by our Lord. What better worth is there than that? We can always reach God by way of the Blessed Mother, especially by imitating her example. If we must know our identity, may we shape it like hers, and therefore, humbly find it in doing God's will out of complete love of Him.
A quote from my favorite Catherine Doherty: "Let us ask the Lord to show women today the fullness of the life of Nazareth. Pray that he might life the veil of years and sentimental piety, and present his own mother as she really was - a housewife, a mother, a spouse, a woman busy at the sublime creative work of the 'kingdom,' which was his home on earth...Do we understand the sublimity of service - humbly, daily, constantly repeated?...Let us ask Mary to help us restore our work in the home to Christ, and to restore all the work of our hands, all our labors, to Christ."
