Suffering - the way of Christ

Suffering is a favorite meditation subject of mine.  Our Lord's words bring such consolation when He assures us that the way of a Christian is a way of suffering and affliction.  Today's Gospel concerns more of an emotional/mental suffering rather then a physical suffering - "If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.  Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple."  Luke 14:26, 27.  (It must be understood that love/hate were the words used to measure preference in the Aramaic language, or this would be a peculiar command indeed, since God clearly desires us to love our family and neighbors.)  We are reminded that we must not prefer anything to God and His law, even comfort and ease in our relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, etc.  It is not enough merely to ensure that we ourselves are not committing significant sins.  We must not only live according to the Commandments and Christ's teachings, encouraging those around us by word and deed, but must also be mindful not to betray our fidelity to God by condoning sinful actions by either remaining silent, or appearing to accept such behavior.  We must judge sin as sin, for by sugar-coating it, or perhaps not speaking up at all, we are doing more harm then good to those for whom we care.  This type of judgement has nothing to do with the final, ultimate judgement that God will pass on each and every soul; pointing out sin is not an attempt to step over that Divine boundary; indeed God orders us to do just that in seeking the good of the other.  Of course, this does not mean that we are to stop loving or praying for those people, on the contrary - love the sinner, hate the sin - they need all the more love and prayer.  

It is interesting to note that Christ immediately follows this revelation with the well known "whoever does not carry his own cross" statement.  He was aware that His commandments would cause division and strife in relationships, even within families, which can be especially saddening and heartbreaking.  Even so, He says we must not waver from both living and speaking truth, and must be willing to accept any hardships or suffering which results from such conflicts out of love for Him.  No matter how hard the situations that face us as Christ's disciples, we must be that much stronger in submitting to and obeying Him...the reward for our sufferings will be great indeed!  With such a love and such a Beloved who suffered the ultimate for us, how can we refuse?  "In truth, the soul perfectly enamored of Christ, its beloved, would not wish to have any other bed or state in this world than the one he had."  (Those are the words of Blessed Angela of Foligno, whose writings I would like to read more of, as she was a wife and mother.)  So those of you who are suffering from any type of circumstance or affliction, take heart and rejoice even in affliction.  He is by your side and will not forsake His faithful.

Dress loveliness

I ran across the website of this delightful small-end clothing company this past week.  It's interesting to note how other eras still influence today's styles and continue to recycle throughout fashion history.  Such lovely designs - feminine and modest - wish I had the right frame (especially the arms!) to pull these off. 

A few of my favs from Shabby Apple:

(This one just might be a must-have someday!)

Slow but steady recovery

So, the surgery was successful. The dr. removed the cyst and found a great amount of endometriosis throughout the regions of my abdomen, most of which she was able to remove.  My reproductive organs are safe and sound - miraculous news to me because of all the endo that was present and I've read so many horror stories - thanks be to God.  And thanks to all of you; I know that my smooth surgery can be attributed to your prayers!

All in all, it was a great first surgery experience for me.  I was very calm and peaceful all morning (which surprised me because I had some major freak-out moments in the days before); my dear dr. had to perform an unexpected c-section so my surgery was 2 hours late, but hubby and I had brought books and so snuggled in the waiting room and read together - I napped a little; after I was admitted and prepped, my dr. prayed a Hail Mary with me (ahhhh), they wheeled me in and put me under.  3 hours and 4 incisions later, I woke up in post-op. to a lovely older nurse from Romania who provided me with gentle, firm, and attentive care for the duration of my hospital stay of 9 hrs.  She was so kind and compassionate I intend to write her a thank-you note, as some of the other nurses were not going around with smiles on their faces, so to me, it made all the difference to have the one I did!  I experienced quite a bit of pain and dehydration, but that suffering was put to good use through prayer, I hope :) 

Recovering at home has been slow but steady.  Hubby has been so wonderful in taking care of me, as usual - he's always the best nurse.  The biggest struggle was making it through my church job this past weekend, but hubby stepped in with his gorgeous voice to sing while I played, so that helped tremendously.  Ben stayed with us for a week's time, and was helpful in making some eats, taking the trash out, and entertaining me - thanks, Ben! 

Despite the pain and restlessness, time in bed has been good for me; you know, that old "Be still and know that I am God."  Lots of time for prayer and reflection - which has resulted in much gratitude for my life, my health, my suffering, my God, my hubby, my jobs, my family, my friends....everything with which He has surrounded me - I am indeed very blessed.  Snippets from books, movies, Skype w/family and friends, and cross-stitching have also filled my down-time.  Nice to be able to indulge in the pleasures of life without any interruptions or time restraints!  And all the naps have been lovely.

It was back to school for hubby this Monday.  It will be a busy semester for him, but he is eager to commence his MA studies.  I feel bad that I have not been able to send him off with breakfast and a packed lunch; next week, hubby.  I've been missing him - yay for commuting to Ave together starting next week when I'm back in proper shape and form for my teaching job.  :)

First choir rehearsal at St. Raphael's tonight! Looking forward to begin forming this little choir by easing them into some easy chant and polyphony.  "Slow but steady" seems to be an applicable mantra for this week!  Hope some newbies show up.

My sister, Catherine comes to visit us soon!  She arrived in FL yesterday and is currently spending time with Laura's little family.  We'll meet in the middle on Sunday to take her into our custody, looking forward to having some fun sister time with her.

"Oh Lord, how great is the depth of the kindness which you have shown to those who love you."
Psalm 30:20

Going under...

So yes, I am having surgery tomorrow at 7:30AM and yes, it may entail/result in more than I had initially thought/planned.  For those of you who were asking, the procedure is formally known as a laparoscopic ovarian cystectomy, will involve three 1 in. incisions, and take 2-3 hours.  Dr. will be removing a large cyst, (possibly an ovary) and also cleaning out any endometrial cells and scar tissue.  I am in the very good hands of a wonderful Catholic doctor and am very thankful to know I can trust her to handle my reproductive organs with the utmost respect and care - what a relief!  Hearing that there is the possibility of having an ovary removed was a bit of a shock, but my trust is in the Lord - if He has ordered that for me, I accept it without hesitation.  Going under has also been a very weird factor to contemplate - knowing that I will be existing but not able to be aware - very strange.  And there is the 1 in a million chances that one does not wake up, so just in case I've been attempting to prepare with more prayer and contrition.  Being en route to heaven would be lovely but I feel very unworthy looking back on my short life thus far, as I haven't begun to do near enough to deserve heaven and certainly haven't rounded up enough souls to join me.  Looking ahead to tomorrow's readings, our Lord calls us to "Stay awake! For you do not know on which day your Lord will come."  He desires us to be prudent and faithful servants, prepared at every moment for His appearance.  We are to be content with who we are and at peace with our life and work, but never complacent, thinking that small efforts and obligatory fulfillments are "good enough."  Banish the checklist mentality.  If His love for us is without limit, why do we limit ourselves to Him?  Continual perseverance and progress in the spiritual life is a daily essential and He who yearns for us and calls us to Himself will bless our efforts by enveloping us ever closer within the folds of His heart. 

  And so, here's to a surgery that conforms with His plan for my body and life, and to a renewed intention to continue making progress in being His prudent servant.

Many thanks to all of you who have cheered me on with love, hugs, prayers, smiles, and your beautiful souls.

"Good is the Lord to one who waits for him, to the soul that seeks him."
~ Lam. 3:25     

Recap.

A few of my favorite things from this past week:

- Fresh seasonal fruit every morning.

- 2 dinners invites from friends:
a spontaneous birthday dinner for Andrew (thanks RT!) &
a curry dinner made be a lovely British girl (thanks Lorna!)
- Lots of much needed laughter.

- A successful first week of teaching. Glad to be back with the kids.
- Time to read before bed every night.
- Promises of prayers, phone calls, and hugs from friends.

- A new library card and stack of free movies.

- Crazy lightening/thunder storms.

- Board games w/hubby.

- A tidy house...mostly.

- Confession/anointing of the sick = ready for surgery! ;)

- Breyers natural ice cream on sale for $2.50. A scoop of mint chip, yes please!

- Goodwill books finds including 2 stacks of children/young adult books. I have such fond memories of reading extensively as a child (thanks, Dad!) and I hope to be able to provide that opportunity for my children in addition to having a supplemental library for homeschooling.

- An engagement: Congrats Amy and Harrison!! :D

- From Sunday's Mass opening prayer: "Give Your people the joy of hearing Your

word in every sound and of longing for Your presence more than for life itself. May

the attractions of a changing world serve only to bring us the peace of your kingdom which this world does not give."
- Mercy and hope.

Happy 35th Birthday, Andrew!

Tuesday "Daybook"

The Simple Woman's Daybook is a lovely brief outline for blogging women/mothers to utilize for the purpose of composing their thoughts, keeping gratitude in their hearts, planning their week, etc.  It is traditionally published once a week on Tuesdays. I may not get to it every Tuesday, but I felt that it might be a nice, simple way to keep my readers semi-updated on what is going on in our life, in addition to reminding myself to focus on the simplistic beauty of the everyday moments.

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... Very hot and sunny. Crickets making a buzz. 

I am hearing... John Michael Poirier's CD, Be With Us Today

I am pondering... "I know you are afraid of where this road is leading.

I want to draw your heart deep into the desert,

where I will speak a word to restore your soul

and a promise of the coming day when I will dry your tears away."

Lord, I embrace the desert.

I am creating... I need to create my lesson plans for tomorrow's music classes;

boys, grades 5-12.

I am thankful for... The comforting and encouraging words of loving friends.

Especially thankful for a dear, thoughtful friend who hosted us for dinner, cake,

and a much needed evening of laughter last night for Andrew's birthday

when she heard I wasn't feeling well.

From the kitchen... A stack of dirty dishes, but at least the trash is out!

I am going... to have some cysts removed via a laparoscopy; asking for prayers.

I am reading... flipping through The Endometriosis Natural Treatment Program.
And In Their Own Words: Women Healed by Dr. Hilgers
of the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction. 

I am hoping... that with this procedure, I can finally get some answers on what has been the cause of all this on and off pain over the last couple years... 

Around the house... Messy. Music everywhere.

Juggling work and medical issues this week has been tough.

One of my favorite things... Seeing little Declan on Skype!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Make it through tomorrow's teaching. Pick up the house. Make dinner at least one night. Watch a few movies with hubby (including some Jane Austen!)

Here is picture thought I am sharing... Morning mist around our house at sunrise...so lovely.

All generations will call her blessed.

"A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, the moon beneath her feet, and a crown of twelve stars on her head." Rev. 12:1

The Feast of the Assumption, commemorated on August 15, is the oldest Marian feast in the history of the Church, and honors the fact that the Blessed Virgin was assumed body and soul into heaven after her dormition (sleep/death).  God would not suffer the incarnate body of she who bore Christ to be subjected to the physical deterioration that our physical bodies, tainted with sin, will undergo.  Mary's unique passing into eternity is a beautiful reminder of the fact that at the end of time, our souls will be reunited with our bodies and again reminds us that our Lady desires always to point us toward heaven, our final goal.  

"Mary is indeed the first fruit of the new humanity, the creature in whom the mystery of Christ - his Incarnation, death, Resurrection and Ascension into Heaven - has already fully taken effect, redeeming her from death and conveying her, body and soul, to the Kingdom of immortal life. For this reason, as the Second Vatican Council recalls, the Virgin Mary is a sign of certain hope and comfort to us (cf. Lumen Gentium, n. 68). Today’s feast impels us to lift our gaze to Heaven; not to a heaven consisting of abstract ideas or even an imaginary heaven created by art, but the Heaven of true reality which is God himself. God is Heaven. He is our destination, the destination and the eternal dwelling place from which we come and for which we are striving" (Benedict XVI, Homily from 15 August, 2008).

Prayer:  Almighty, ever-living God, You raised to eternal glory the body and soul of the immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of Your Son. Grant that our minds may always be directed heavenward and that we may deserve to share in her glory. Amen.